Shattered Mirror
by Neneithel
Summary: At fifteen, living in London with Daniel, Harry is a troubled lad.


_**Shattered Mirror.**_

The Major was waiting in the study when Daniel arrived home. "Good day?"

"Excellent." said Daniel, "How's Harry doing?"

The Major frowned. "He's working hard, making progress."

"But?"

"Daniel, he's not happy."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. He never says anything about it."

"Then why assume he's unhappy?"

"Listen." said the Major.

Upstairs, Harry was pacing.

"Every night, he's awake late into the night, restless, moving around. He'll come down here sometimes and just sit at the desk with his head in his hands. There's something on his mind. I just hope it isn't us."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I wonder if his heart is in this."

"He's a natural." said Daniel.

The Major nodded. That much was undeniable.

Daniel poured himself a brandy. "I'll talk to Harry tomorrow."

"Carefully." said the Major.

"Why?"

"I think he's pretty angry."

They'd been sitting in quiet appreciation of the brandy for a while when there was a sound of breaking glass upstairs. "What was that?" asked Daniel.

The Major shrugged.

Daniel ran upstairs. Harry was on the floor, picking up bits of the shattered mirror. "Harry, are you hurt?"

"No. It broke." he said, unnecessarily.

Daniel picked up the brass candlestick that lay on the floor and put it back on the chest of drawers. "Don't cut your hands."

"I won't." said Harry, "It was worth something, wasn't it?"

"Quite a lot." said Daniel.

"I'll have to go now, won't I?" Harry's face was hidden, but his voice shook.

"Go where?"

"Away." said Harry, "I broke an antique."

"It cost me nothing." said Daniel, "Whereas you are a very significant investment." He patted Harry's shoulder. "Come downstairs. You've had a shock. The fire and a sip of brandy will help."

"I have to tidy up first." said Harry. He still didn't look round. Daniel suspected he was crying.

"Fine, you tidy up, I'll pour your brandy."

Daniel returned to the study.

"What was it?" asked the Major.

"Broken mirror." said Daniel.

"Seven years' bad luck."

Daniel looked up at the ceiling, thinking of the fear in Harry's voice when he'd spoken of going away. "He's had his seven years already."

"Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. His life was hard enough already."

"And without any future prospects when I found him."

"We could get him into a good school, he talks well now."

"No!" said Daniel, "He belongs here, where we can look after him."

"We're not the best people to do that. What do we know about troubled lads?"

"Well, speaking for myself, I was one." said Daniel.

They fell silent when they heard Harry coming downstairs. He knocked on the study door, a sign he had been paying attention to his lessons. The Major opened the door and gave Harry the glass of brandy. "You look pale, Harry."

Harry smiled grimly and walked over to the fire.

"You can go off home, now, Major." said Daniel, "Don't worry about Harry. He just had a bit of a shock when the mirror broke."

"It wasn't deliberate." said Harry.

Daniel smiled and sipped at his brandy. The Major left, then Daniel said, "Harry, do you want to tell me why you threw the candlestick at the mirror?"

"No." said Harry.

"Fair enough. Do you know why you did?"

Harry looked into the fire. The silence bristled around them.

Daniel spoke again, very gently. "What scared you, Harry? What's scaring you now? You can trust me, you know. You're about the only person who can."

"What's the first thing you remember?" asked Harry, "Your earliest memory?"

Daniel was surprised. "I don't know, digging in the garden with my father, I suppose." He saw the stricken look in Harry's eyes. "Oh."

"You know what? Everyone has memories like that. The Major remembers his mother calling him in to eat, old Smith down the road remembers his parents laughing, Estelle remembers her mother in a green dress, dancing to an old record. She still has the record! You know what I remember? A train and a woman telling me it would be for the best. Before that, nothing. After that, just more trains and more people telling me I was going to be happy and cold that went right to the bone. Who the Hell am I, Daniel? I might as well not exist!"

"Didn't any of them love you? Didn't anyone treat you well?"

"Yes, for a while. It was worse then, Daniel, much worse. I'd start to believe all was well. I'd start to think of their house as home."

"What does this have to do with breaking the mirror?"

"This face tells me nothing! I looked for some clue, some sign, and this damned face just looked back at me, this person who doesn't exist!"

"Some sign of what? Of who you are?"

"And of why that person is the one person nobody wants."

"So you don't feel wanted here?" said Daniel.

"You've been kind. You've done a lot for me, I know that." said Harry.

"You can think of this as home, Harry."

"No. I've stopped looking for a home now. Now I just want to survive."

"You can stay here as long as you want. I swear I will never throw you out."

"You're not the first to promise that." said Harry.

"We're friends, Harry. I know the world has played some cruel tricks on you, but you and I can return the favour now. I'll teach you to get whatever you want from the world. You can have anything money can buy."

"Is that enough?" said Harry, "Does it make up for the stuff that can't be bought?"

"I can't be a father and a mother to you. I can't tell you your name or wipe out the memories of all those people who just kept sending you away, and you're right, no amount of money will ever do that either. All I can promise you, and this is my promise, not the promises of those hypocrites who pretend to be honest, is that when you need a friend, you have one."

Harry drank the last of his brandy and said, "And you really don't care about the mirror?"

"Even antiques can be replaced. You can't, Harry, you're a one-off. You have my permission to destroy every stick of furniture in this house, but don't destroy yourself. We'll need to get you a new mirror. And you have to be more tolerant of your reflection, or shaving will become impossible. There's one thing that face can tell you, that you're a good lad."

"A thief!" said Harry.

"An honest one." said Daniel.

"Why do you care what happens to me?" asked Harry.

Daniel smiled. "Because I like you." He looked at his watch. "Get some sleep, Harry. I hear you haven't had much lately."

"Do you think I'm mad?" asked Harry.

"I think you're angry and I think you have reason to be."

"But not insane?"

"The only thing broken up there is a mirror." said Daniel. He hugged Harry, feeling how the lad clung to him and then suddenly pulled away.

"Sleep well." said Harry.

"You too." said Daniel. Harry went upstairs and Daniel poured himself another brandy and waited. An hour later, he went up to check on Harry. He was asleep, huddled in the blankets as if cold, though the night was warm. Daniel looked at the well-made face and the frown that lingered even in sleep. "Goodnight, my boy." he whispered and he smiled slightly as he realised that all the commitments he had evaded were not so binding and so all-consuming as the one he had made of his own free will to this kid who needed a father figure and a home.


End file.
